Posts

What about the kids?

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What about the kids?
It's a question we hear often, a question we asked ourselves repeatedly before starting this process 3 years ago, when our bio kids were just 6 & 8.

They have handled this all so beautifully so far that I almost want to quip, what about them?


Obviously that wasn't our initial attitude, in fact we were quite concerned, concerned they may feel slighted, concerned they'd get attached and then have a hard time grieving, concerned we'd be introducing some tough topics into their little hearts and brains. So concerned that we almost didn’t do this, that we almost missed this and I cannot tell you how sad that thought makes me now.
Like so much in life we quickly realized we worried for nothing, kids intuitively get vulnerable love, it's us grown ups that screw it up. Plus if you never afford your children the opportunity to feel slighted, to get attached, to deal with loss, to deal with all the heavy stuff, aren't you really just shelterin…

Marriage is hard.........our expectations make it harder.

I’ll never forget my 22nd birthday, it was the day that I thought to myself, “Yes! Thank God! Now I am old enough to get married.”
I know what you are thinking because now I am thinking it too, ‘Wait what?!? What did my dumb self just proclaim the young age with the high enough level of maturity to get married?’ Only that wasn’t exactly what I was thinking at all because truly I was too na├»ve to ever question what maturity had to do with marriage.
I was already engaged to be married at that time and I just thought 22 sounded like a better age to be making such a large life choice than just 21 did. I mean ‘who could take a 21 year old seriously?’ is what I was projecting. I knew I was not going to prove to myself or anyone else around me that this 21 year old girl, the age that’s basically the poster child for drunken irresponsibility, was mature enough to know what she was doing. I was truly thankful that I turned 22 in May before our wedding in June. I thought that month made a solid…

Guest Blog Over At A Door Of Hope's Page

My thoughts on the idea of becoming "too attached" and that fear keeping people from fostering. 

http://www.adoorofhope.com/blog/

Guest Blog Post - Print the photos, pray for the children...

A little piece I wrote about a very special girl and the place she holds in my heart and on my wall.

https://eckerd.org/2017/10/18/mom-decorates-home-pictures-entire-family-including-foster-kids/

Guest Blog - Hurricanes and Childhood Trauma

A couple of months ago us Floridians went through Hurricane Irma together.

At that time I was struck with the parallel of the trauma of that experience and what a child in foster care must experience regularly, you can read more about my take on that here:

https://eckerd.org/2017/09/18/guest-blog-life-foster-care-can-never-ending-hurricane/

Our Sick World

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I think that all of us have had the same thought at some time or another this week. What a sick world we live in. Our world is sick. So very sick. No amount of cynical or inspirational posts with #lovemorehateless or #PrayForVegas will change that. I can hardly process it all, I just keeping thinking of how sick our world is. I feel stuck on that point, and as it goes round and round in my head my mind wanders to how we got here.
Lately I've been thinking perhaps we've become sick because we've lost touch with the effort it takes to remain healthy. Just like the human body cannot maintain health simply with good intentions or a quick fix but rather requires sustained quality care, we must recognize that our society is a living-breathing organism that requires consistent care.   We became complacent, gave up or hyper-focused on ourselves somewhere along the way. We now find ourselves enduring horrific symptoms of neglect.
It's brutal out there and brutality beats complacency ev…

Foster Parent Training 101 - "The only constant in foster care is change"

I was once asked to speak to a training room full of soon to be foster parents, give them a little insight to what it would be like to get licensed and ready for their first placement. I think I over-shared as usual but I have since shared it with more people who asked what it was like and they seem to appreciate the truth. So here I am copying and pasting it into one of my 'once in a blue moon' blog posts because like I just told my friend I don't typically have time to wipe my old mascara from sunday's church service off until Tuesday mornings I certainly don't have time to consistently blog about my life but I do like to tell the truth and help others. Hopefully this finds it's way to those who want to learn some more about the process. 
(This presentation was given last year, a few months after our first placement)

To paint our picture, I feel like I need to first give you a little bit of context on who I am and what my family’s journey to this point has bee…